im not apologising for being a feminist

i feel like i just need to get these thoughts out of my head… which have been quite dormant until i was trying to find beyonces vma performance anywhere and only came to articles and news videos. i generally dont like to read youtube comments, or any kind of commentary when it comes to a few of my favourite artists in the music industry (because, well… have a look for yourself)…(most notably beyonce, rihanna and nicki minaj- i hold these ladies in high respect because theyre not only pretty great at what they do but they are wonderfully unapologetic about their image)

so. beyonce is a feminist. you know who cares? feminists, some of her fans.. and ALL those who are OBVIOUSLY not. first of all. beyonce is NOT the spokesperson for feminists… nor has she said she is one. she aint perfect (as much as it hurts me to say). even i cant excuse the whole ‘anna mae’ business.

which begs the question… what is a feminist?

yes we know the dictionary definition: feminist- a male/female who believes in the social, political and economic equality of the sexes. i really cant bold that enough.

but do we really understand that?

i think it’s important to define what feminism is to me. feminism is a positive social change towards a world that is less prejudiced against women; feminism is about empowerment. misogyny, though not always a conscious hate is really quite engrained in our way of thinking. i will advocate for women where i can and as im me, this generally means that i will educate those who dont understand what feminism is and call out those shitting on it (tho im not going to argue with lost causes).

a few weeks ago, i was chillin with one of my mates and he saw a girl wearing whatever she was wearing and he says, ‘now she’s just asking to be raped’…

In what kind of fucking world do we live in, where a girl can dress however she wants… and a man (and yes even women think this shit) will think she is ‘asking’ for anything from him?! that somehow she was partly responsible for her own rape! UGH! so that was bloody infuriating…

shit feminists DONT say/shit you should know about feminism:

1. “I hate men”

Wrong. Did you miss the point of “equality”?

2. “I hate marriage”

No, no, no! Marriage is a partnership. NOT a submission. Where there is NO partnership is where feminism kick in. Not all female feminists hate taking their partners last names. Some are traditional, some are modern… point of the matter-it’s their preference.

3. “Women shouldnt wear clothes that are demeaning to them/Dress with some respect”

First of all, define “demeaning”. And then tell me what you think ‘respect’ is and why women who dont dress to a standard that is your liking, is subjected to judgement and is worthy of disrespect. Second of all, women can wear what the fuck they want to wear, it’s their decision, it’s their body. The fact that you even sexualise a women’s body is why the fuck we need feminism. And if it’s “distracting” to you, you need to get it out of your head that women are dressing for your fucking pleasure. Women were not made to please you thank you very much.

4. “why cant you be a humanist?” type shit

Well arent we all bloody innately humanists mate? You know why i need feminism? nowadays, feminists fight a lot more from a social point of view but ill try and cover the lot. i need feminism because more women than men are targets of domestic violence and street harassment, i need feminism because i should be the one making decisions on what i choose to do with my body and reproductive organs. i need feminism because magazines/social media are pushing these ideas at me about how to be pretty (for guys or to make other girls jealous… for some reason)i need feminism because when i get harassed, i dont want people asking me what i was wearing. i need feminism because in some jobs, not all jobs, my male counterpart will get paid more. i need feminism because im sick of people not taking me seriously when i speak up on things and asking me ‘are you on your period?’. i need feminism bc a guy i worked with told me he doesnt know why ‘girls wear so much makeup even when they know we (guys) dont like it’. i need feminism when i worked in hospitality and was told to not move a few tables because i was a girl and that i should be skirting them instead because that was a ‘girls job’. also, all those times julia gillard came out to say shit, and all anyone would be talking about was how she looked. and it goes on from there… (note that, feminism doesnt care what you wear; rather that you are free to wear what you want with no judgement)

Yes. Men have problems, i acknowledge that wholeheartedly… but you know what? feminism actually doesnt ONLY benefit women.. it benefits men too. How you ask? because we know what it is like to be defined by our genders. we understand the hardships that men go thru trying to (and having to) define their masculinities and that this has caused a lot of strife. so let’s all just be feminists so we can change people’s perspectives on all of this stuff…(IT’S ALSO KIND OF TELLING THAT *MOST* ISSUES FACED BY WOMEN (AND MEN) ARE ACTUALLY CAUSED BY MEN)

5. “Why are you a feminist? Why do you like playing the ‘victim’?”

Now youre just trying me. To be honest, Im not really sure how to reply to this. Because I dont see how being a feminist can make you a victim.

6. “feminazi”

I resent anyone who uses this term on anyone, or uses it to label themselves.

First of all, this is feminism. Yes, it is important. No, it is nothing like dealing with a nazi.

7. insert joke about “making you a sandwich; use of the word ‘pussy’, ‘girly’ and ‘bitch'”

See this is where I just dont give you the time of day. okay, i dont like policing people on the words they use and there are a few words that i vehemently hate, like the three above. and i need to be honest here… before i realised i needed feminism, i used these words before to degrade people. and im still trying to unlearn how to say these words because it’s become such a part of everyday life that i have to consciously remind myself not to use them. and this is the same with calling things/folks you dont like ‘gay’ or using ‘nigga’ in conversation with friends. i am sincerely sorry.

8. “feminists cant get boyfriends/husbands, feminists are ugly, etc”

one of the responses i hate on this one in particular is when feminists respond with ‘well.. so and so are feminists and they are married, they are beautiful etc.’ once again, this is not the point. why does it matter that a woman (or man) who calls themselves a feminist has a boyfriend or not. we are not defined by our relationships with men!!! you should not be taking us more seriously because we are in relationships, that is what you call prejudice and feminists say, that aint cool! why are women reduced to how they look? why do people need to constantly define women by their bodies? ugh. just stop.

9. “feminism is for white women only”

Well if they included us… no im kidding. kinda. folks are always going to be left behind in any kinda movement. and it’s truly sad that sometimes white folks will throw us POC, and especially black women under the bus when it comes to setting the standards of feminism (or anything for that matter). (which is how #solidarityisforwhitewomen came to be all those months ago). Feminism is supposed to be inclusive. But… the double standards that POC face (namely black feminists) are basically formed due to racial prejudices. ive seen this countless times where a white woman will do something and people will praise her, and a WOC will do the same thing and shit will hit the fan. like how one white female celebrity will come out and say she’s a feminist and everyone’s like ‘oh. isnt she brave? isnt she just the best?’ and then a WOC celebrity will say she is and folks will be like ‘oh it’s all for publicity! she doesnt give a damn about women’.

And please, again. If you dont agree bc of your ignorance (and lets be honest, that is why you dont agree) please dont come on here and shit on my experience and tell me it doesnt happen or it doesnt matter. please stop being so damn staunch in your beliefs and views. we all want to live in a better world. we wouldnt have to keep talking about this if you just saw it from our POV. because i dont give a bloody toot what your racist and misogynistic views on this are. Being a feminist does not excuse anti-blackness, and it does not excuse any other kind of prejudice.

10. last but certainly not least, the “strong” woman

okay, tbh, i didnt want to finish the post on a 9 so i thought id add this in. i, as a person, enjoy reading. i enjoy watching television. and i do enjoy seeing the badass female characters that scarlett johansson and zoe saldana play. and im glad that feminism has helped these characters come to light. yes, we are human. yes, we can be pretty fucking badass. but the constant need for “strong” woman in YA books/movies are starting to look like ‘see how hard im trying to be all inclusive’ or ‘look! we have woman… stroooong woman’. I SAID I WANTED TO BE HUMAN NOT THE GREATEST WOMAN ALIVE!

i am not by any means the perfect feminist nor am i the most qualified person to talk about these things, but please dont tell me i dont need feminism. please stop telling our girls they dont need feminism. and please stop with the stigma.

Cheers!

note to reader: please remember these are my opinions, it’s an opinion post.

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