Such a Strong Word

  1. I hate today, the way I woke up to the shrill of the alarm
    Aching and drowsy, I stand, wanting to throw it at the door
    But it cost too much
  2. I hate how you make me feel, like I’m not good enough
    Am I not good enough for you?
    Why aren’t I good enough for you?
    And will I ever be?
  3. I hate that I try so hard
    Mostly for myself
    Not for you
    But you make me feel like it was all for you
    Because you remind me of my failure
    And how it hurts you
  4. I hate how I accept you, tolerate your bad days
    I see in your eyes how fragile you are
    But you stand behind your tall walls
    Throwing your daggers of hate
    How can I not love you?
    And I wonder late at night
    whether you would do the same for me
  5. I hate when you tell me to kill myself
    Tell me to jump off a bridge
    But I didn’t mean it, you chuckle
    It was a joke, you say
    But I’m not laughing
  6. I hate when I come home, to darkness
    To cold sheets and empty frames
    To echoes of the days before
  7. I hate that you laughed at me
    At my insecurities
    You say you see me,
    but i feel invisible in your gaze
  8. I hate when my jaw aches,
    after biting into my favourite food
    Is this what it has come to?
  9. I hate when she says he’s not my type
    he’s too dark, too white, too fat, too short
    Is he not a being?
    Does he not have feelings?
    Mysteries?
    More beautiful than the cage he is contained in?
  10. I hate how he chooses girls
    The ones with the open arms and eyes
    Am I too much for you?
    Am I so boring to you?
  11. I hate when I open my heart
    Open my mouth
    Let my words out of caves
    Either everyone is sleeping
    Or they just don’t care
  12. I hate that I love my solitude
    I love my loneliness
    Caress and ache for it
    But the world does not understand
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