“So what do you want to eat?”
“Whatever, I’m not fussed”
“Oh, I don’t care. I eat anything.”
“I don’t mind, you choose”
“Aw, I’ll have whatever, I don’t really care”
If you’re like me, these conversations are a daily thing. I try and I try and I try to be more assertive… but it doesn’t work. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’ll be wrong or that I care about what you think and so I don’t want to pick the wrong thing but…
I used to get annoyed at people who took so long to decide things and now I’ve turned into that person it’s like, BLOODY HELL MARION, make ya mind up already. Not only does it take long for me to decide on what I want, I always end up being on the fence about things. And it’s not just these trivial things, it’s BIG issues like where I stand on abortion… or if Cobbs was still dreaming… or feminism… or if e-books are better than real books… or gay marriage… like GUHH I am so frustrating! Why do even have to pick a side anyways? Why can’t we just feel this way because that’s just how we feel and that’s that. (See what I mean?)
And don’t even get me started on the flight or fight response. (Side question… can you teach yourself to respond with fight?) So one day I was just minding my damn business, sitting outside a shopping mall waiting for my friend to come out when this shady looking teenage kid walks in. (I’m not even gonna describe him… aren’t all tenagers shady? haha). Now I didn’t even really notice him… you know when you just kind of see someone but you don’t really see them? Yeah… that. Aaaanyway, on all the registers they had tins for charity and all sudden this kid grabs one and starts running off. At first I was like
Now, there was no one on those registers, I don’t know whyyy the stupid tins weren’t chained to the register and for some stupid reason I kind of just stood there gawking like a damn fool
but when I realised what the kid had done I jogged (who jogs during a flipping crime? ME.) towards where he headed and then called out to one of the workers about what happened. Like, my heart was beating so fast and I wanted to be a hero and run after the kid but my mind was like NO. STAY. STAY. HERE. SAFE. YOU GO. YOU DIE. Cheese and crackers I hate that memory but ever since then I try not to think too much in these situations. Because if you think, you will die. Well, not really, but you know what I mean.
JUST DO IT.